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September is Addiction Awareness Month - A Mother's Story

by Press Release
September 12, 2017

Written by a mother who wishes to remain anonymous

I had never felt such a pure love as when my baby was placed in my arms  I would hold him for hours and look at him with awe and wish him a good life and hope that he would be a good person.  I wanted for him all the normal things we all want for our kids.  What I never wished for was that he would grow up to be an addict.  That he would lie, cheat and steal to get what he needed.  That I would sit up nights praying he would make it home, that one more night he was ok. Somehow I believed him when he told me I didn’t have anything to worry about. 

I knew, deep down that he was in trouble but I didn’t want to know. When I would we waiting for him to come home I would think what should I have done different.  Didn’t I love him enough, was it too much, should I have been harder on him, should I have gone easier on him  I wanted him to be the little boy again that I could protect.  When he came out of rehab all I could think well now the secret was out.  I didn’t tell anyone for several months I had so much shame.  I didn’t want to feel that way because I wanted him to not be ashamed .  I wanted him to be proud of going through detox and working his recovery.  It was a slow process for me to come out and tell people and now if the conversation comes up I’m not afraid to share and offer advice and hope. If we have hope there is a light at the end of the tunnel. 

My son has 15 months clean and sober. He works his recovery and our family has healed so much in that time.  I didn’t realize how wrapped up in my sons addiction I was until he was in recovery.  Just as the saying goes...One day at a Time.

 
 The Mother of not my son

 

 

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