Driving Laws and Regulations for the Masses

Patient: Doctor it hurts when I do this.
Then don’t do that.

It seems like today we have to be warned in writing about obvious actions that if not avoided will injure or kill us. Someone spills hot coffee in their lap while driving so now the cup bears a warning that the contents are hot. Don’t put this plastic bag over your head. You might suffocate. The latest set of regulations address the penalties associated with “Hand Free Driving” (see HR’s article https://hollistonreporter.com/2023/02/hands-free-while-driving-3rd-anniversary/). Glad they weren’t in place back when I was dating.

But it’s not just the current generation of lawyers looking out for our best interest and those of companies selling products. Here’s a look at some archaic driving laws in states around the country (From Nationwide Insurance web site). It’s safe to assume that many of these laws were written after someone performed these acts of stupidity but could not be prosecuted because the law didn’t specifically prohibit the action.

Alabama – No driving while blindfolded.

California – It’s against the law for women to drive in a housecoat (too easy to conceal a shotgun?)

Florida – By law, you must feed the parking meter if you tie an elephant, goat or alligator to it.

Idaho – Anyone over age 88 is forbidden to ride a motorcycle in Idaho Falls (sounds like age discrimination)

Illinois – It’s illegal to drive a car without a steering wheel.

Louisiana – A woman’s husband is required by law to wave a flag in front of her car before she can drive it (starter flag?)

Massachusetts – You cannot drive with a gorilla in your backseat and taxi drivers are not allowed to make love in the front seat of their taxis while they’re on the clock (but is it legal if the gorilla is in the back seat at the time?)

Michigan – It’s against the law to sit in the middle of the street and read a newspaper.

Missouri – You can’t honk someone else’s car horn.

Montana – Unless you have a chaperone, it’s illegal to have sheep in your truck (proposed by the sheep humane society?)

Nevada – It’s illegal to ride a camel on the highway (proposed by the camel humane society?)

New Hampshire – It’s against the law to inhale bus fumes with the intent of inducing euphoria (but it’s the only way to get euphoric in NH)

New York – It’s against the law to disrobe in your car in Sag Harbor (is ageism at play here again?)

North Carolina – It’s illegal to play in traffic.

Oklahoma – It’s illegal to read a comic book while driving.

Oregon – By law, you must yield to pedestrians when driving on the sidewalk (then the opposite should also be the law)

Tennessee – It’s illegal to shoot any game other than whales from a moving vehicle.

Texas – You must have windshield wipers to register a car, although having a windshield is optional.

West Virginia ­- It’s legal to eat roadkill (possum stew tonight, kids)

Wisconsin – It’s against the law for a person to ride a bicycle with their hands off the handlebars (especially if your buddy is sitting on them at the time).

Can’t wait for the legislature and the RMV to pass even more laws to keep us from killing ourselves and each other. Happy motoring.

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Paul Saulnier

1 Comment

  1. antonia mercer clark on March 7, 2023 at 11:30 am

    See you’re at it again,THANK YOU. You made me chuckle.