I posted the log on HollistonReporter.com every week, beginning in 2008. What follows are a few of the entries from the log along with my comments in italics.

May 25, 2010. Animal incident, Fiske Street; Large turtle in the road. Gone on arrival (faster than a police cruiser).

June 15, 2010. Shoplifting, CVS; report of shoplifting by aspiration (pump his stomach to get the evidence).

June 19, 2010. Complaint, walk-in to HPD. Washington Street resident asked to speak to officer in charge. Message left with the Dog Officer (Police Chief position still vacant).

April 16, 2011. Crash, Pond View Road; one car over the embankment (possibly to get a better view of the pond?).

When asked by a young patrol officer “Do You know you were speeding?”
this 83-year-old woman gave the young officer an ear-to-ear smile and stated:
“Yes, but … I had to get there before I forgot where I was going.”
The officer put his ticket book away and bid her good day.

Traffic complaint, report of passenger on motorcycle holding a child. HPD stopped the motorcycle and determined that passenger was holding a dog. Operator cited for 90-22H.

Let’s take junior for a ride.

10:10pm Suspicious people were reported doing something with flashlights by the side of North Fifth street in Custer. A deputy checked and found the people were not suspicious, but merely Canadian.

Sept 20, 2011. Complaint, Wingate; caller asked HPD to inform her husband where on his property he can and cannot smoke cigarettes.

June 14, 2012. Don’t go jogging in a cat costume. Animal incident, Highland; HPD notified resident that their dog was chasing a jogger.

May 19, 2012. Complaint, 10:00 PM, Jerrold; report of unruly skateboarders (skateboarders have to be ruley after 9:00 PM).

I said no anchovies. Complaint, North Mill; pizza delivery man having a problem with a customer.

THE ONE WHO DRIVES
WHEN HE’S BEEN DRINKING
DEPENDS ON YOU
TO DO HIS THINKING
BURMA-SHAVE

Oct 5, 2012: Animal incident, 415 Concord; several reports of a loose horse. Owner states that horse is not loose – it just looks like he is loose.

Oct 7, 2012: Animal incident, 200 Norfolk; report of large turtle in the road (gone on arrival?).

Animal incident, 200 Norfolk; deer struck (should have watched the turtle to see how it’s done).

BWTM:

Officer to the driver:
“The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?”