The Federal Tea Board

Founded in 1897 to stop England from exporting inferior tea to America and keeping the best tea for itself, this board of expert tea tasters sampled every load of tea imported. Several Presidents tried to stop it (budgeted @ $125,000 during the Nixon administration); Congress tried to defund it but it lasted until 2023 after having approved 99% of the tea sampled.

Some good may have come out of the use of our tax dollars. Recent studies have shown that drinking tea might reduce deaths due to cardiovascular disease. So at least the tea tasters may have lived a little longer to enjoy their government pension.

Reason Magazine goes on to highlight a few other uses for our tax dollars:

The Rural Electrification Administration

Established in 1939 to extend power and phone lines into rural areas, this haven for political appointees is costing us $154,000.00 this year.

The Mushroom Council

Established “to maintain and expand existing mushroom markets and uses”, this council costs us 0.0055 cents per pound on all imported mushrooms. When was the last time you heard of a new use for mushrooms?

Christmas Tree Promotion Board

New in 1996, this board collects 15 cents on every real Christmas tree sold here to tell us to buy a real cut tree. Of course, that fee is passed on to us. Shouldn’t be long before there is a Fake Christmas Tree Board to encourage people to save the environment by not cutting the real trees. The same dedicated civil servants will just change their business cards.

The Popcorn Board

Established to “establish new markets for popcorn and popcorn products”, the board is supposedly self-funded by charging producers to do their promoting for them with the efficiency of big government. This is thought to work so well that we also have other user-fee promotion boards like the National Mango Board, the National Potato Board, and the National Watermelon Promotion Board.

I think we should ask Senator Warren to submit a bill to Congress that establishes the Holliston Reporter Board with a mandate to “maintain and expand the coverage of news and social events in Holliston”. We can make do with $100,000.00 per year.