“Could you pass the potato latkes, Aunt Betsy?” you blurt out, hoping to cut through the flurry of college application questions flying your way across the Hanukkah dinner table.
And so it begins…
By now, your college applications are likely submitted, aside from a couple of schools with regular admission deadlines in January. Maybe you’ve even heard back from some Early Action or Early Decision schools. The first half of your senior year is behind you, and you finally have a few weeks to rest, read, ski, or indulge in anything that helps you unwind.
But then came the holiday family get-togethers. And, let’s face it, they can be deadly when it comes to college talk. So how do you handle the inevitable barrage of questions from curious relatives?
Let’s set the scene: Earlier this year, you might have dodged the interrogation at other family events. Maybe at a cousin’s wedding, the focus wasn’t on you, and you could escape unscathed. But now, during the holidays, all eyes are on you. The questions come rapid-fire:
- “Where are you applying?”
- “You’re applying to my alma mater, right?”
- “You should check out XYZ College—they have a great nursing program.” (Spoiler: You don’t want to study nursing.)
How you handle these questions is entirely up to you, but here are a few strategies to help you survive the scrutiny:
1. Prepare an Elevator Pitch
You know what an elevator pitch is, right? It’s a short, planned response that includes only what you want to share. If you’d rather not mention that you were rejected from your Early Decision school, then simply don’t. Relatives don’t need a full disclosure of your college application journey. Stick to a couple of key points, and practice your responses ahead of time to keep the conversation short and sweet.
2. Deflect the Questions
Turn the conversation around. Uncle George loves to reminisce about his undergraduate days, and you’ve sat through his stories dozens of times. Use that to your advantage. Instead of answering his question, ask him where he applied, or where he got accepted and rejected. That’ll send him down memory lane, and by the time he finishes, you’ll conveniently be busy helping clear the table for dessert. Voilà—you’ve made your escape.
3. Channel Your Diplomatic Side
Pretend you’re being interviewed for a job. Use your best diplomatic voice, maintain direct eye contact, and practice a stately presence. In other words, learn to say, “None of your business” in the nicest way possible. Something like, “I’m still exploring my options” works wonders. Remember, you don’t want to offend anyone—they’ll all be invited to your graduation party, and that means G-I-F-T-S.
4. Call in Reinforcements
Enlist the help of older cousins who are in college or recently graduated. They can chime in to cut the questions short or share their own experiences with the application process. It’s also helpful for them to explain how much more competitive and stressful the process has become compared to when your older relatives applied. Trust me, your Great Aunt Helen has no idea what it’s like now.
5. Set Boundaries
Sometimes, the simplest answer is best. If you don’t feel like engaging, just say, “I’m not ready to share just yet.” Most relatives will respect that and move on. (If they don’t, see point #2.)
Final Thoughts
The bottom line? Be prepared for the questions—you know they’re coming. How you choose to handle them is entirely up to you. Whether you deflect, redirect, or politely decline to answer, the goal is to make it through the meal with your sanity intact.
Happy holidays, and remember to take some time to chill during your school break. You deserve it!
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